Spy Wednesday

"One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, 'What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?'"
Matthew 26:14

I sincerely hope that one of the first people I meet in heaven is Judas Iscariot. Because Jesus is forgiving like that. I like to think Judas was the first redeemed by Jesus; a friend for many years who took a wrong path, but was redeemed through Jesus' unfailing love. Jesus modeled this redemption with Peter, who also failed him that fateful night. I imagine that, during the time both Jesus and Judas were dead, Judas after hanging himself and Jesus after his death on the cross, that it went down something like this:
Jesus: "Judas, did you love me when we were both alive and together?"
Judas: "Jesus, I did and I still do. I don't know what went wrong, but I'm so sorry. Please forgive me."
And then, they were together again, brothers in Paradise. Because Jesus is like that.  We hope in that. We relish that. There are no enemies in these events, only human beings acting like human beings.  We all make mistakes and all we need do is ask Jesus for forgiveness.  Let's think about that this "Spy Wednesday." Love, heidi

At the edge of our seats...

"You will look for me, and as I told the Jews, 'You cannot come,' so now I say it to you."
 John 13:33

Imagine how befuddled the disciples must have felt hearing this from Jesus as they shared their last meal together!  Here they had walked away from their own lives to follow him, stuck with him for three years and now he was saying he was moving on and they can't come? They must have felt flummoxed. Maybe rejected. Certainly confused. Was all of this going to just end? Was all they had worked for and sacrificed for just going to dwindle away as Jesus headed off on his own? "But the crowds were so excited to see you when we got to town!" Our Gospel starts out today saying, "Reclining at table with his disciples, Jesus was deeply troubled..." (v. 21) So, no one was actually comfortable at this gathering, beginning with Jesus.  This was looking like a dark cloud coming quickly.  Think of all the emotions experienced by everyone at the table...fear, excitement, angst, anticipation, uncertainty, confusion, wonder, bewilderment, all circling back to fear.  What was going to happen? We imagine these same emotions with the disciples and Jesus as we sit at the table, at the edge of our seats.  Love, heidi

The Journey to Calvary...

"Jesus, then, gentle-hearted as a grandmother, as dignified as a king, could ride serenely up to his death because he knew he was returning to his source."
Fr. Ed Hays, "The Lenten Labyrinth"

Fr. Ed Hays offers some pondering questions in the Palm Sunday entry in the Labyrinth.  Jesus rode into Jerusalem, knowing that the end of his journey was near. And yet, he was serene, allowing the people to laud him as king.  What about us, Fr. Ed asks. Are we OK with our own death--the hows and whens of it?  Definitely some rich food-for-thought on a Relatively Silent Sunday. I had to admit, now that my Will is complete, I'm much more at ease about dying! It isn't the actual death that scares me as much as the passage toward death-the walk to my own, personal Calvary. The physical/mental diminishment, the dependency on others, the lack of capacity myself scares the dickens out of me. I'm so independent and self-contained that the idea of depending on others scares me much more than the thought of taking that last breath. I'd choose to die peacefully in my sleep--causing minimal fuss and trouble for anyone. But that may not be the cross I am dealt.  Jesus asks me to accompany him to Calvary with whatever cross I am meant to carry--that is part of what being a follower of Jesus looks like. I can journey with Jesus this difficult week to his Calvary and I can rest assured that Jesus will walk with me to my Calvary, whenever and however that comes to pass.  This Holy Week, let's be especially aware of journeying with Jesus as he shows us how it's done.  Love, heidi

Ponder-worthy...

"We are not stoning you for a good work but for blasphemy. You, a man, are making yourself God."
John 10:33

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories about St. Edith Stein.  Remember her? She was the Jewish woman who was a philosophy scholar in Germany, pre-WWII.  As a result of her studies (of St. Teresa of Avila) and the influence of Catholic friends, she became a Catholic and later a Carmelite nun. She was killed at Auschwitz in 1942, at age 50.  My favorite story is when she finally told her Jewish mother that she was joining the Carmelite order. She had just been living with the sisters while teaching at their school. She told her mother that she was actually going to join the order and be a Carmelite nun. Her mother was quoted saying, "Why did you have to get to know him (Jesus)? He was a good man--I'm not saying anything against him. But why did he go and make himself God?" ("Edith Stein--A Biography," by Waltraud Herbstrith). Isn't that fascinating? We have  two thousand years of history and the deep faith to know that Jesus is God. The people of his time and even Jewish people throughout history see it so differently.  So ponder-worthy, this last weekend before Holy Week. And as we ponder and pray, let us remember that the Jewish people are, and always have been, so richly and completely loved by God. They are our brothers and sisters under our father Abraham. Love, heidi

Praiseworthy!

"Blessed are you, O Lord, the God of our fathers, praiseworthy and exalted above all forever..."
Daniel 3:52

Pray-as-You-Go had a lovely little exercise surrounding this today...inviting us to think about what we would praise God for on this day.  That's easy for me, having just spent a fabulous weekend with three out of four of my kids! I was thinking how funny it is: I did a good deal of pondering and nourishing my relationship with God in my early twenties. Then busy family life began and I was caught up in a whirlwind of all of that for thirty years. Now, here I am again, on my own pondering and nourishing my relationship with God. These God-times are like bookends of my life--times of awareness, while the years in between are somewhat of a blur to me.  I spend time this late-Lenten Wednesday praising God for it all.  I relish each phase, each period of life, as I look back.  I see how God was there through it all, even as I was so caught up living a busy life.  The constant through it all is God...who is definitely praiseworthy and exalted forever!  Let's all ask ourselves today...what do we praise God for this very day? Love, heidi

Alone. With God.

"So they said to him, 'Who are you?'"
John 8:25

I love that the people just come right out and ask Jesus, "Who are you?" Indeed, it's a good question for us to pray with these last two weeks of Lent. Who IS Jesus in our lives? Is Jesus an historical figure who lived in a confined period of time and place? Is Jesus still alive in our lives today or do we relate to him only as he was then? Is Jesus someone we think about Monday through Friday or only on Sunday? Is Jesus merely symbolic to us or is Jesus real to us? If we haven't really gotten into Lent this year, we can spend the next couple weeks praying and pondering these questions in our own lives. Who, exactly, are we celebrating on Easter? And what does this whole deal mean in our own work-a-day lives in 2017? We're in the home stretch, Friends...let's spend some wonderful, peace-filled time with alone. With God.  Love, heidi