"You have to learn how imperfect you are. Eastern religions call this 'beginner's mind.' The more mature you grow, the more you discover that you are still a beginner; you still don’t know anything."
Richard Rohr, Daily Meditation, July 25, 2016
One of the things I've learned in the last five months since I changed my whole life is this: I don't know much at all. The new work I'm doing at the school is sometimes baffling. I have to ask the first grader how he got the answer to the math problem because I sure can't figure it out! I am new, new, new and it is ever apparent to me. Especially in my volunteer work at the day shelter I am so often over my head I essentially "lose it." I did yesterday and it haunted me all evening until I rested with it in prayer and realized something important. I am learning. I need to ask more questions than making statements. I need the "beginner's mind" that Fr. Rohr talks about and be in a learning mode instead of in a "fix it" mode I used to be in. I was at least able to feign competence in my old career, but here I can't cover up what I don't know as easily! It's right out there. So, even as we grow older and think we may know stuff, we don't know it all and it is easier just to admit that. So here goes...I don't know stuff! I am eager to learn and would like to know more! Please be patient with me while I learn! Love, heidi
Tuesday, November 27, 2018
Monday, November 26, 2018
We can all give...
"Jesus said, 'I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest...'"
Luke 21:3
Pray-As-You-Go had a beautiful reflection on this reading today, inviting listeners to imagine one person they have seen giving selflessly through this last month. We were to pray with the image of that person and even imagine Jesus speaking of that person as he did of the poor widow in today's Gospel. It was a lovely time of imaging for me, but what I took away from it is that Jesus sees all of our efforts to live selflessly and with compassion for others. Jesus sees all of the "widows" out there, doing the smallest of giving things--allowing someone ahead of us in line, holding the door open for a stranger, rolling up our sleeves at a soup kitchen. Jesus sees our tiniest act of giving and is so appreciative! Today, as we go about our pre-Advent Monday, let's be especially aware of watching for the selfless acts of charity others are doing all around us. And let that inspire us to give lovingly of ourselves, too. Love, heidi
Luke 21:3
Pray-As-You-Go had a beautiful reflection on this reading today, inviting listeners to imagine one person they have seen giving selflessly through this last month. We were to pray with the image of that person and even imagine Jesus speaking of that person as he did of the poor widow in today's Gospel. It was a lovely time of imaging for me, but what I took away from it is that Jesus sees all of our efforts to live selflessly and with compassion for others. Jesus sees all of the "widows" out there, doing the smallest of giving things--allowing someone ahead of us in line, holding the door open for a stranger, rolling up our sleeves at a soup kitchen. Jesus sees our tiniest act of giving and is so appreciative! Today, as we go about our pre-Advent Monday, let's be especially aware of watching for the selfless acts of charity others are doing all around us. And let that inspire us to give lovingly of ourselves, too. Love, heidi
Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Just as they are...
"So he ran ahead and climbed a sycamore tree in order to see Jesus..."
Luke 19:4
Today's Gospel about Zacchaeus climbing a tree to get a better look at Jesus is so similar to yesterday's story of the blind man who shouts out to Jesus. I noticed in both cases there seemed to be no concern for embarrassment or how the guys came across to others. In the case of the blind guy, others tried to shut him up and he didn't care, he shouted on. In Zacchaeus' case, the people were tsk-tsking him, grumbling about his dirty dealing and ill gotten gains. Jesus would have none of it. When Jesus encounters someone, no matter who they are or what they've done, they are changed. What about us? Is it only first century folks changed by Jesus? Certainly not! We are changed and transformed by Jesus just as vividly if our eyes are open and our hearts are beating with God. Sometimes, we look back on our encounters and wish we had responded differently. But, if we are reading this, we are alive and have a whole new opportunity today to see Jesus in the people and situations around us. While reading both of these stories, let's also take notice that Jesus beckons the fellows to him even before they apologize for any wrongdoing or announce they will change their ways. Jesus accepts them just as they are--needy, seeking and broken. Just as we are. Love, heidi
Luke 19:4
Today's Gospel about Zacchaeus climbing a tree to get a better look at Jesus is so similar to yesterday's story of the blind man who shouts out to Jesus. I noticed in both cases there seemed to be no concern for embarrassment or how the guys came across to others. In the case of the blind guy, others tried to shut him up and he didn't care, he shouted on. In Zacchaeus' case, the people were tsk-tsking him, grumbling about his dirty dealing and ill gotten gains. Jesus would have none of it. When Jesus encounters someone, no matter who they are or what they've done, they are changed. What about us? Is it only first century folks changed by Jesus? Certainly not! We are changed and transformed by Jesus just as vividly if our eyes are open and our hearts are beating with God. Sometimes, we look back on our encounters and wish we had responded differently. But, if we are reading this, we are alive and have a whole new opportunity today to see Jesus in the people and situations around us. While reading both of these stories, let's also take notice that Jesus beckons the fellows to him even before they apologize for any wrongdoing or announce they will change their ways. Jesus accepts them just as they are--needy, seeking and broken. Just as we are. Love, heidi
Monday, November 19, 2018
Shout out?
"He shouted, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!'"
Luke 18:38
So often when I hear this reading, I zero in on the healing of the blind man from Jericho. But, today I was caught up in the asking, the shouting for Jesus. Pray-As-You-Go invites us to think about anything that may be keeping us from reaching out to Jesus, shouting by the roadside, as this fellow did. He had nothing to lose, really, but do we? Are we concerned what others will think if we rely on Jesus? Is there anything that is keeping us from shouting out? In my own life, I am less and less concerned what others think (I hope), but I am so easily distracted by things of this world that I spend too much time "there." Yesterday afternoon, I'd finally had enough of documentaries on TV and just shut the whole world out. I sat and gazed at my tree, listened to some wonderful music daughter Jeni Rose sent me from Israel, ate a small dinner in silence and then had a fire in my fireplace (first one!) I found it enchanting to be tuned into God and not the TV. So, if I had to answer what is keeping me from reaching out to Jesus? I would have to say my own distracted-ness. I get mesmerized by the computer, TV and the connections of the world. Once I decide to unplug from those, I can rest and relax, reaching out to Jesus. What about you? Love, heidi
Luke 18:38
So often when I hear this reading, I zero in on the healing of the blind man from Jericho. But, today I was caught up in the asking, the shouting for Jesus. Pray-As-You-Go invites us to think about anything that may be keeping us from reaching out to Jesus, shouting by the roadside, as this fellow did. He had nothing to lose, really, but do we? Are we concerned what others will think if we rely on Jesus? Is there anything that is keeping us from shouting out? In my own life, I am less and less concerned what others think (I hope), but I am so easily distracted by things of this world that I spend too much time "there." Yesterday afternoon, I'd finally had enough of documentaries on TV and just shut the whole world out. I sat and gazed at my tree, listened to some wonderful music daughter Jeni Rose sent me from Israel, ate a small dinner in silence and then had a fire in my fireplace (first one!) I found it enchanting to be tuned into God and not the TV. So, if I had to answer what is keeping me from reaching out to Jesus? I would have to say my own distracted-ness. I get mesmerized by the computer, TV and the connections of the world. Once I decide to unplug from those, I can rest and relax, reaching out to Jesus. What about you? Love, heidi
Thursday, November 15, 2018
Like a child...
"For behold, the Kingdom of God is among you."
Luke 17:21
"Did your hair used to be all black and now it's turning white?" We have a new kid in second grade and he needed to clear up the question of my hair color before we could get to the spelling words. There are so many times I feel like I'm on a TV sit com and cannot possibly say, out loud, the funny things the writers are giving me to say. But the whole experience of this job is showing me the Kingdom of God, right here, right now. It's not always hilariously funny. Some of the kids' comments are maddening. Like the kid who was angry with me and looked down at my Mary Jane shoes and said scathingly, "You don't even know how to tie your shoes." (At the time that was maddening, but now it's funny. Sort of.) I think we tend to romanticize the Kingdom of God, but in reality, Jesus is telling us the Kingdom of God may be challenging. The Kingdom of God may test our mettle. If the Kingdom is among us now it is difficult, filled with life and death, rejoicing and suffering, mourning and dancing. What makes it the Kingdom of God is the presence of God among us and I think that is what Jesus is giving us with this passage. The Kingdom of God is among us because God is among us...right in the middle of the mess. God is surrounding us with revealing situations and people who show us, sometimes more clearly than others, God's presence in the midst of this life. It's may be easier to see the presence of God in second graders, that is why Jesus set a child in the middle of the disciples and told them to be more like children. Let's look closely at our lives today and see the Kingdom of God right here right now, no matter who it is revealing God to us. Love, heidi
Luke 17:21
"Did your hair used to be all black and now it's turning white?" We have a new kid in second grade and he needed to clear up the question of my hair color before we could get to the spelling words. There are so many times I feel like I'm on a TV sit com and cannot possibly say, out loud, the funny things the writers are giving me to say. But the whole experience of this job is showing me the Kingdom of God, right here, right now. It's not always hilariously funny. Some of the kids' comments are maddening. Like the kid who was angry with me and looked down at my Mary Jane shoes and said scathingly, "You don't even know how to tie your shoes." (At the time that was maddening, but now it's funny. Sort of.) I think we tend to romanticize the Kingdom of God, but in reality, Jesus is telling us the Kingdom of God may be challenging. The Kingdom of God may test our mettle. If the Kingdom is among us now it is difficult, filled with life and death, rejoicing and suffering, mourning and dancing. What makes it the Kingdom of God is the presence of God among us and I think that is what Jesus is giving us with this passage. The Kingdom of God is among us because God is among us...right in the middle of the mess. God is surrounding us with revealing situations and people who show us, sometimes more clearly than others, God's presence in the midst of this life. It's may be easier to see the presence of God in second graders, that is why Jesus set a child in the middle of the disciples and told them to be more like children. Let's look closely at our lives today and see the Kingdom of God right here right now, no matter who it is revealing God to us. Love, heidi
Tuesday, November 13, 2018
Seeking God's will...
"My chief care should not be to find pleasure or success, health or life or money or rest or even things like virtue and wisdom...But in all that happens, my one desire and my one joy should be to know: 'Here is the thing that God willed for me. In this God's love is found, and in accepting this I can give back God's love to God...'"
Thomas Merton, "New Seeds of Contemplation"
Whoa...does this sound like a gamer-changer to anyone? All this time we thought we were striving for success, even success in holiness. And all along if we just seek to find God's will for us, God will meet us right there! If you have been reading some of the same spiritual sources I have these last several years, we've learned that God's will for us can be found by searching our own deep desires. Wow. Fabulous, isn't it? We can find God's grace and presence all over our lives as we seek our deepest desires. God will be there, bolster us up, cheer us on, send others to help us. Days that we struggle to get a head of steam for what we are to accomplish just need to be lifted up. We will be helped from the inside, but also those around us can be shining lights for us, too. As we are going about our daily doings, we are loving God with God's own gift of Love to us. Brilliant, really. Let's spend some time with this in prayer and see where it takes us! Love, heidi
Thomas Merton, "New Seeds of Contemplation"
Whoa...does this sound like a gamer-changer to anyone? All this time we thought we were striving for success, even success in holiness. And all along if we just seek to find God's will for us, God will meet us right there! If you have been reading some of the same spiritual sources I have these last several years, we've learned that God's will for us can be found by searching our own deep desires. Wow. Fabulous, isn't it? We can find God's grace and presence all over our lives as we seek our deepest desires. God will be there, bolster us up, cheer us on, send others to help us. Days that we struggle to get a head of steam for what we are to accomplish just need to be lifted up. We will be helped from the inside, but also those around us can be shining lights for us, too. As we are going about our daily doings, we are loving God with God's own gift of Love to us. Brilliant, really. Let's spend some time with this in prayer and see where it takes us! Love, heidi
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