Which seed?

"Jesus said to his disciples, 'Hear the parable of the sower...'"
Matthew 13:18

I accepted the invitation on Pray-As-You-Go this morning and sat with the question, "Which seed are you? Seed that falls on rocky soil? Or rich?"  I've heard this reading often enough to go somewhere completely new in my head this time. I decided I'm the seed burrowed into rich, lovely soil. True enough I have had such vivid spiritual experiences and a wonderful heritage of religiosity. So I'm a seed just burrowed in this fragrant soil. But the problem is, I'm content to just stay here and not feel the need to burst up and grow. If I grow up through the soil, what could happen to me? A weed-eater could come by and zip me right up, couldn't it? I see this as a reluctance to use my gifts for others, and this is a real stunting of growth because of some silly fear. Maybe a fear of not being good enough or a fear of being rejected. Both can be realistic fears but certainly could be overcome by faith in God, who is inviting me to grow.  Today, let's not be afraid to explore how we are hearing God's word in our lives and responding. Are we growing as strong and healthy little shoots that can one day serve others? Or are we too comfy burrowed into our own little worlds?  Let's spend some of this last weekend in July quietly with God, praying with these deep questions.  Love, heidi

Grumbling for change...

"Present yourselves before the Lord, for he has heard your grumbling."
Exodus 16:9

I was afraid of that...that the Lord has actually heard my grumbling.  I wonder if it gets tiresome? I would imagine so; I remember about this time every summer the kids would be bored and the grumbling seemed endless. How does God put up with our grumbling? When I think about it, grumbling often precedes a change. The old has to get grumble-worthy before we are ready to delve into something new. At this point, the lazy summer days and hot nights may feel grumblesome to kids and adults.  If we find ourselves grumbling this day, let's ask, Are we on the threshold of change? Is there something new around the corner, up ahead? Can we embrace what is to come without too much grumbling, knowing that God holds us and our change in love? Can we remember and pray with gratitude for times God has answered our grumbling with change?  Love, heidi

Weeds and Wheat...

"No, if you pull up the weeds you might uproot the wheat along with them. Let them grow together until the harvest."
Matthew 13:29-30

I was thinking about this reading and marveling at the non-dualism of it. The weeds are allowed to grow along with the wheat because it's not up to us humans to determine who is wheat and who are weeds. In fact, some of us who fancy ourselves wheat can be quite weedy if the truth is told, can't we? Our weed/wheat status is not finally determined until the very end. And the One who knows hearts will do the separating then, not mere mortals.  I wonder why we think we have to play gardener and do the separating ourselves, based on our very limited knowledge? When I worked at a Girl Scout camp in the 70's, we all had camp names.  My name was Weed, because "A Weed is a Flower in Disguise." Many plants we may consider weeds here on earth are actually lovely flowers, we just can't really see them.  I am grateful to be able to grow with weeds and wheat and VERY grateful that God is the True Gardener. Love, heidi