"Do everything without grumbling or questioning..."
"In the same way, everyone of you who does not renounce all his possessions cannot be my disciple."
Both of these readings spoke to me today because I have too many of all of it--grumblings and possessions! I may have made a wee effort to reduce the amount of grumbling when I am with others, but get me alone in the car and I can be a champion grumbler. I wonder if God tires of eavesdropping on my rants? I bet so. And, despite all my speeches to the contrary, I have far too many tunics hanging in the closet. What I am clinging to and yet, not even wearing, I am taking from someone else. Ridiculous. So, today I am going to make a conscious effort to rid myself of grumbles and tunics. I surely can do without so many of them! Love, heidi
"Have among yourselves the same attitude that is also yours in Christ Jesus...he emptied himself."
He emptied himself. Jesus gave all he had to give. He left nothing on the table. He did it all. And he asks the same of us. So, why is it that I can go into an Assisted Living facility and find myself arguing with a little old lady? Mystifying, isn't it? We, who have been given so much, are asked to give like Jesus gave and it is so hard sometimes. I can absolutely lose it with the very people I am here on this planet to serve. Good grief. Dear Jesus, I am not like you. I'm so very far from being like you that I sometimes wonder why you put up with me. But I realize you can use me, even in my weakness. Please let me be more open to following you as you served, emptying yourself for all of humanity...even the difficult little old ladies! Amen! Love, heidi
"For behold, I tell you a mystery. We shall all not fall asleep but we shall all be changed, in an instant, in the blink of an eye, at the last trumpet..."
1 Corinthians 15:51-52
We had this reading for the Feast of All Souls and I was able to spend some time pondering it yesterday. Our homily was based on it, too, so I really had much to pray with yesterday. Death is inevitable and a mystery. Nothing really new there, but how do we feel about death, exactly? Are we afraid of it? In denial? Looking forward to it? I realized that I am not so much afraid of death as I am the dying process, the diminishment, the relying on others, the bother to the kids. I want to be "me" as long as I can and as long as that can be, I want to stick around. Basically, I don't want to wear out my welcome here on earth. As my mother always said, "Leave the party while you're still having a good time." I think the actual death itself should be a wonderful letting go, falling in the arms of Jesus, seeing loved ones gone before, a lovely long nap. So, all that figured out, what do we do in the meantime? Live our lives, not with selfishness or vainglory, as St. Paul tells us and the Philippians in today's first reading (Philippians 2:1-4). Living our lives with real purpose and meaningfully seems like the answer. Don't let worrying about the end keep us from really living in love with God today! Blessings on your new week and new month! Love, heidi