Who we are...

"What are the things you have become too attached to or reliant upon that you need to let go of, to move closer to Christ?"
Pray-As-You-Go, November 7, 2019

Interestingly, I discovered an answer to this question just yesterday.  In an effort to reduce paper I have piling up around here, I went through and sorted out what I can shred. I went through my accordian file of receipts, important papers, you-know-the-stuff, and was able to part with much of it. I came to the file folder that contained several years of my old Performance Appraisals from my career with the Commission for the Blind. I worked there for 19 years and received, roughly, one per year and they were several pages each, so the math is easy to do--they take up space--get rid of them! But, in the morning as I thumbed through them, I wanted to keep them. Silly, I know. But it was a bit nice to relive a time when I felt more competent in what I was doing, thusly reflected in the appraisals...I did OK there and, in contrast, some days I feel so inept at my current job at school. I tucked them neatly away in their file folder and went on about the day. Last night, I took a walk through the neighborhood and pondered, with God, my need to hang onto the past like that. Long story short--I went through each report, reread it, and shredded them all when I returned from my walk. They represent the past, my "container," as Richard Rohr would call it, that I carefully built and honed for years. I am no longer that container, but am growing more closely to the True and Real me...who I am in God's eyes. I no longer need to hang onto a past that was good, but is just that--past. I only need what I need right now to do what I do, and only God can give me that. Who we were is part of who we are, but we are to transform, with God's help and grace, to be who we  truly are in God. And as we grow more deeply in love with God, that is much more important.  Love, heidi

Seeds of love...

"The saints saw suffering more as a door than a wall. Not 'this is the end' but where does God's artistry lead next? Focused on God, they didn't over-identify with their own success or failure."
Kathy Coffey, "Give Us This Day" (2017)

I was reading an old journal from two years ago and reread this little gem. Wow, right? I think we are wired from childhood that success is always the goal. Why do anything if you're aren't going to succeed, I remember hearing frequently. But we may never see the fruit of the seeds we are planting in our lives now. The seeds may take a long time to take root, sprout and grow, and we may be long gone by the time the blooms show up. But that doesn't mean we don't try--put forth the effort, till and nourish the soil, water and care for the seeds. Behind all of our action, there is God, nourishing and caring for us. Yesterday at worship, just after receiving communion, I sat and savored the nourishment that I knew was filling me. Everything I need within myself to do God's work in the world is in that nourishment. And I'm so grateful! Today, as we go about a November Monday, let's remember that God gives us all we need to do God's work in the world. The soil of our hearts has been carefully tended and nurtured, our seeds of love are sprouting for all, let's go out there and share! Love, heidi