"For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want."
St. Paul is calling it real today, Friends! There is no self-righteous arrogance here. He calls it like he sees it. He knows what is right and he does the opposite. He sees himself as he is: a human being who just doesn't measure up. The only glimmer of hope he can see is that God still loves him, Jesus still saves him, and THAT is the only thing he has going for him. Walking in the Way is not easy for anyone. Our human nature is still human, even though we follow Jesus. But let's not forget Jesus was human too, and he realized first-hand what it feels like to struggle against our own nature to do the right thing. Jesus, thank you for understanding my weaknesses, fears, anxieties and thank you for loving me anyway. My desire is there--to walk in your Way--just help me get my humanness out of the way! Help me to stay faithful to the journey! Blessings on your weekend! Love, heidi
"Prayers are but stepping-stones to silence, so don't linger too long on their words."
Fr. Ed Hays, "A Book of Wonders"
I pondered this a bit, in the silence, and realize that it is so true! We can come to God with a long list of prayers, intentions, praises, questions. But the silence that, hopefully, follows our list gives God a chance to respond. It takes time and patience to just sit in silence, however, especially for a talker and a do-er, like me! I can find a million other things to do; oh, did the dryer just go off? Do the dogs need water? That desk sure looks dusty! But, the most real thing I can do after bringing my prayers to God is to sit and listen. Ideally, my time of silence should be at least as long as the time I've spent praying my words. I'll say my piece, then it's God's turn. Let's not shirk the silence, today, Friends! Our prayers need to be followed by a time of silence, so God can answer! Love, heidi
"Blessed are those servants whom the master finds vigilant on his arrival. Amen, I say to you, he will gird himself, have them recline at table, and proceed to wait on them."
One of the meditations I did today on this reading suggested I pause and consider what it would be like to have Jesus wait on me, like the master in this reading. I thought about it and it reminded me of one Holy Thursday when I was asked to have my feet washed during the celebration of the Last Supper. It was uncomfortable in a humbling sort of way. I didn't know where to look while the priest was washing my feet...do I look at him? Do I thank him? Do I smile? Imagining Jesus waiting on me like the watchful servants in this Gospel made me feel a bit the same way. I think we little humans, especially women, are wired to rather serve than be served. So many of my elderly clients tell me they don't like being at the point of their lives where people have to help them. They liked it better when they were doing the helping. Today, let's be the watchful servants, ready to welcome Jesus whenever he comes into our day. And let's also be aware of Jesus giving himself in our service on the cross...the ultimate sacrifice any human can make! Love, heidi
"As they continued their journey he entered a village where a woman whose name was Martha welcomed him. She had a sister named Mary who sat beside the Lord at his feet listening to him speak..."
A wonderful weekend for me is when I have what I call my Martha Day and then I have my Mary Day. Let me explain! Saturday is Martha day when I do so many activities. I enjoy my prayer breakfast group, working out at Curves or Zumba, doing my grocery shopping, yard work or cleaning and then attending Saturday evening mass. This past weekend, I attended a dinner theater, which was wonderful fun. My Mary day is Sunday, when I get to just sit at Jesus' feet. I try to unplug, for the most part, and have a quiet, relaxing day. If I do any activity I think of doing it with Jesus. Yesterday, I made applesauce, for example, and Jesus pointed out to me how beautiful and intricate the apple is. I make a special effort to be quiet, prayerful and take a nap. It is bliss, let me tell you! What I realize is that BOTH days are nourishing for my spiritual well-being. I need community activity and I need to sit at Jesus' feet. Both are essential for me to hit the ground running Monday. Which I am about to do! Blessings on your autumn Monday! Love, heidi