Jump onboard the healing train!

"When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been ill for a long time, he said to him, 'Do you want to be well?'"
John 5:6

I remember my dad had a friend who (as Dad described it) "enjoyed" ill health.  When I was finally old enough to realize the inconsistency of that I asked my dad what he meant by that paradoxical phrase. "Oh, he enjoys ill health because it gives him something to talk about." Ah, yes, I get it.  Some of us, frankly, resist getting well, as Jesus knows already in today's Gospel.  We may be so uncomfortable with change that we stay in our own little sicknesses because the absence of them would take away our unique us-ness. Where would we be without our internal stuff? Who would we be? What would we talk about? Jesus doesn't inflict healing on someone who doesn't really want to be healed. That's why he sometimes asks the obvious question. He asks us today, too.  Do you want to stay crabby with your coworkers? Do you want to perpetuate the gossip in the teacher's lounge? Do you want to walk by the guy with the sign without as much as a prayer for his needs? We need to be onboard with Jesus' healing within us. Do we want to be well?  Love, heidi

Healing--this way or that?

"Jesus said to him, You may go, your son will live.'"
John 4:50

So Jesus didn't see or touch the child he healed in today's Gospel. Contrast to yesterday's when Jesus was so intimately involved with the blind man's healing he made mud out of his own saliva to put on the man's eyes! (see John 9:1-41) We had a wonderful homily about how different Jesus' healings were throughout the Gospels. Jesus could heal from afar and Jesus healed with a touch. Jesus healed by someone merely touching the hem of his cloak. Jesus healed with the words, "Go and show yourselves to the priest." Sometimes the people being healed actively sought Jesus and asked for his healing, other times, the individual's friends brought the person closer to Jesus. Many times, Jesus told the "healee" that it was their faith that healed them. So in the homily it was shared that the answer for so many different styles of healing is in the first reading from Sunday, 1 Samuel (16:7). "Not as man sees does God see, because man sees the appearance, but the Lord looks into the heart." God looks into the heart of each person and knows exactly what healing they need.  Some can be healed without their own asking, as the official's child in today's Gospel. Others may need a more hands-on approach, like the man born blind yesterday. God does the same exact thing for us, too. God can look deep into our hearts because God resides there. God just has to look around in our hearts and know exactly what we need in the way of healing.  God is so eager to heal that! Are we onboard with the healing God knows we need?  Love, heidi

A conversation with God...

"Because you are in love with God, you can relate to him as you would relate to a friend. You can talk to God in order to find out what he thinks. You want to do as he suggests. Listen to him, then, that you may know. God speaks quietly, very quietly, but he does speak, and he will make known to you what he wants you to do."
Catherine de Hueck Doherty, as quoted in Give Us This Day

Yep. What she said.  I think we grow up thinking we are only communicating with God if we are praying the formulated prayers we grew up with.  The idea of talking to God as we would talk to a friend seems uncomfortable, forced, or even weird. But, the older I get and the more, could I say, familiar I get with God, the more honest I feel I can be. Even to the point of looking up and praying the simple prayer of the surprised, "Seriously, God?"  We have been asked to "Pray always" (1 Thessalonians 5:17). It's hard to do that if we stick to only rote prayers.  But we can keep a running conversation going with God if we are familiar enough to talk with God as a friend. Let's try something today: Let's make a Sign of the Cross first thing in the morning, and let the whole day be our prayer. Then we can close our prayer at the end of the day. Our whole day is a prayer, a conversation, with God.  Love, heidi

Alone with the Alone...

"In solitude when we are least alone..."
Lord Byron, "Childe Harold's Pilgrimage"

I had a long drive yesterday and realized too-late-to-go-back-for-it that I'd left the Talking Book player at the office. Rats, that, I thought. Long drive made even longer by no book to enjoy. I did have a prayerful music CD. That, and perhaps some time of silence, would be the order of the day.  The mountains are still snow-covered and breathtaking. God felt as close as in the passenger seat beside me. Prayers prayed and felt. Tears flowed. It was a trip to church.  Why are we so afraid of silence? Why do our hours need to be filled up with noise and activity? To keep our minds off stuff? Maybe. But also the silence can amplify the sound of our own heart beating; our own "who-ness" as Fr. Richard Rohr often says.  And that can be intimidating.  Today and maybe for the remainder of Lent, let's put ourselves in positions of solitude and silence. On purpose. Let's not be afraid to be alone with the Alone, as Marymount advertises on its webpage. It's very safe and lovely with the Alone.  Love, heidi

Forgive and let go...

"Peter approached Jesus and asked him, 'Lord, if my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive him? As many as seven times?'"
Matthew 18:21

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things we humans have to wrap our minds around. And one of the most difficult aspects of that is the act of forgiving ourselves.  We can be so good at guilt that we can mire ourselves in it for years, thinking ourselves unworthy of God's forgiveness. If we cannot imagine God is merciful enough to forgive us, how can we picture our little human selves able to forgive others? A couple of lessons from "The Shack" really stood out to me in the forgiveness realm.  First, God tells Mack that the healing of forgiveness affects the forgiver. Mack's anger was harming him, much more than the offender. God wanted Mack to forgive to free him, Mack, thus releasing the offender to God. "I'm just asking that you let go of his throat," God pleads. God assured Mack that he could forgive with God's help and he wasn't alone in his efforts. That is reassuring. And finally, it takes time and even practice--the act of forgiving. Just saying the words are a beginning, eventually the heart will follow. Lent is such a good time to revisit any grudges or ill will we may harbor towards others, and to let it go. Release it to God, who knows what to do with it. Love, heidi

Hear and recognize...

"Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said..."
Matthew 1:20

Pray-As-You-Go this morning asked the question have you ever been compelled to do something in a dream...did you do it? I'm sure there are many times I have been influenced by dreams, but one time in particular I was iffy about a situation and then received clarity in a dream. I acted on the clear message I'd received and it was the right thing to do.  A while back I heard a homily about St. Joseph which emphasized that St. Joseph KNEW God's voice because he was so familiar with God. It's harder to hear and recognize God when you aren't necessarily close to God in relationship. It's a lot easier to hear a friend's voice if you've heard it before and speak together often. The more time we spend with God, the easier it will be to hear and recognize God's voice, whether we hear it in a dream or while out hiking or while in silence, listening for the whisper.  Love, heidi