In God's Hands...

"More than ever I find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life from my youth. But now there is a difference; the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in God's hands."

Pedro Arrupe, SJ, "In the Hands of God"

 

I could never express what I've been experiencing these last few years with any more clarity than this.  This is it.  Instead of feeling that I'm running hither and yon trying to find God, I feel that God is chasing and yearning for me.  I wonder if it is an age thing? I don't feel completely "there" yet, however.  I still have a way to go to completely feel surrendered.  But I feel like God is keeping a very close eye on me--like I'm a lively teenager, whose actions must be closely monitored.  Instead of calling for God or feeling the need to beckon God, God is already right there with me.  God has been there all along, waiting for me to call.  It is a stage of life, Friends.  What I have been seeking since I was a young girl is right here with me.  It's like what Fr. Richard Rohr says too, "You can quit knocking, you are already inside!" I'm already inside...in God's hands. Love, heidi

Sin can't be "un-sinned"

"The truth is, no sin can be un-done. It can only be forgiven. And getting it forgiven is not difficult. 'The Lord is kind and merciful.'"

The Little Black Book

 

"No sin can be un-done." Let's think about that for a moment.  We can't un-say a hurtful comment.  We can't un-send a bitter email. We can't un-ring a bell of sadness we may have caused someone else.  Try as we might, we cannot un-do a wrong we have done, and that fact is hard to face.  But, through the infinite mercy of God, our sin is forgiven and that is cause for rejoicing. Today, let's do our best to prevent the hurtful sins before they even start.  Let's engage the clutch on our mouth before the hurtful, angry words come out.  Because once they're out of our mouths, we can't get them back.  Lord, please give us pause to stop and think before we speak, or even write something to someone else today.  Help us to realize that words can't be put back into our mouths once they're out.  Help us to only speak kind and uplifting words today.  And please bless all those who, in body and spirit, are attending the bishops' mass on the desert today in Nogales, AZ.  In the spirit of welcoming the stranger, who is Jesus, may our country enact immigration reform!  Love, heidi

I was blind, but now I see

"One thing I do know is that I was blind and now I see."

John 9:25

 

This, of course, was yesterday's Gospel and I pondered the question, What is it that I need Jesus to help me "see" better?  Having attended the Sisters of Charity Regional gathering on Saturday, the answer was clear to me.  I need to be able to see Jesus in the poor. And that has a question of its own-- Who are the poor?  We had such a wonderful discussion at our table about who the poor are, and it became clear to me that the poor may not just be those in need of physical provisions.  Mother Teresa said that those who feel unloved, who have no friends, who have no others to turn to are also poor. So, as we enter into these last weeks of Lent, let's ask ourselves what "vision" healing we may need from Jesus.  And let's ask Jesus to heal that aspect of our lives.  Lord, please give me eyes to see you in the poor; those without the things they need to live and thrive in this world, those who need extra love and compassion, those who may simply need to feel validated in a world that moves at too fast a pace to recognize their great contribution. Amen!  Love, heidi

I am not God!

"However, take care and be earnestly on your guard not to forget the things which your own eyes have seen, not let them slip from your memory as long as you live..."

Deuteronomy 4:9

 

I had a work presentation last night and  I prayed Jesus would help me with it.  I wanted it to be very good and a good help to the person who asked me to present to this particular group.  I prayed on the way there and, while I was presenting, I thought things were going well.  The group was very engaged, people were asking fabulous questions, I was rocking it!  In the glow of success, I drove home, thanking God for being there and helping me.  Then I discovered I'd done the whole presentation with the fly of my pants open.  Yep.  Lest I get too caught up in how great I am, my fly was open.  God is great.  I am not.  Thank you, Lord, for that reminder!  So, today, I will take care and be earnestly on my guard to make sure my pants are fully zipped.  And remember that I am only a pencil in the hand of God, not God herself.  Love, heidi

Yes! Here I am!

"Here I am; your commands for me are written in the scroll.

To do your will is my delight; my God, your law is in my heart!"

Psalm 40:8-9

 

I had the craziest dream just before I woke up this morning.  Without going into all the silly details, I dreamed I was at a large "Come and See" gathering for both men and women discerning the religious life.  All the "discerners" were young, and yet, there I was, discerning with them.  "But," I kept telling the leaders, "Aren't I too old?"  Finally, an older priest said to me, "You are never too old to say 'Yes' to God."  I woke up with that fresh in my mind.  Then, I realized today is the feast of the Annunciation and it all fit together.  All of us, every day we're alive, have the choice to say 'Yes' to whatever God asks of us. Saying 'Yes' to God doesn't just mean the answer to a vocational call, but to respond with love to our clients, co-workers, family members, students, strangers.  God calls us each day to show compassion to everyone we meet.  That is when we have the privilege, and the responsibility, to say "Yes! Here I am!"  May we answer God's call today just like that...with multiple exclamation points! Love, heidi

Lesson from the "well woman"

"Sir, I see that you are a prophet..."

John 4:19

 

Yesterday's Gospel was the Woman at the well and I was excited to reread the chapter in Fr. Anthony Gittins' book, "Encountering Jesus" about this fascinating woman.  Jesus tells the woman he knows all about her colorful past, the five husbands, the fact that she is living with a man now who is not her husband.  Gittins says, "But (Jesus') intention is neither to condemn her, nor to dwell on the past. He shows no inclination to condemn, only to enlighten, to encourage, and to commission." Even though the woman was not of Jesus' people.  Even though she had lived a rather torrid life to that point, and even though she was a woman, Jesus saw in her, faith and potential. Jesus saw what she could become and what she turned out to be--one who leads others to him.  This woman, as Gittins points out, was far more on-top-of-things than the disciples who basically missed the whole stunning event! Today, before we judge someone as unsavory or un-teachable or even unlovable, let's remember Jesus and the woman at the well.  Jesus did not condemn her...he enlightened her, encouraged her, and then sent her out to teach others!  Love, heidi