The mriacle of growth

"(The Kingdom of God) is like a mustard seed...It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed in with three measures of wheat flour..."
Luke 13:19, 21

Pray-As-You-Go invites us to ponder both of Jesus' images of the Kingdom of God and think which one we relate to better.  What I found was more the similarities of the two; mainly, that the Kingdom of God occurs miraculously.  Both the tiny little mustard seed growing into the huge plant and the small bits of leaven making a loaf of bread rise seem miraculous to me.  Both miracles are surprising, you may look over on the counter and catch your breath when you see the risen loaf. Or one morning you go out and notice, "Whoa! That plant grew overnight!" So it seems with us when we surrender to God and try to become pliable in God's hands.  We may surprise ourselves with choices we make that seem a little kinder or welcoming. We may be surprised to find our hearts melting as we feel differently about others. These signs of God working quietly in our hearts may take us by surprise! But first, we must let our own agendas go and release our hearts to God for the changing. God certainly won't change us without our willingness to be changed! That is what our free will is about.  God doesn't infringe on that, but God will delight in growing us, leavening us and filling us with God's own love if we are just open to be changed.  Love, heidi

To have and to hold...

"Brothers and sisters: Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ."

Ephesians 4:32

 

I have been learning a lot about non-dualistic thinking and sincerely have the goal to try and live more like that...with less "us vs. them" and more "both/and" ways of seeing things.  Just when I think I'm getting somewhere I am faced with how deficient I really am and how much further I have to go.  During this difficult election I'm especially challenged, but I sure don't need an election to show me I'm still very dualistic! I took it to prayer yesterday and really asked God for guidance. Does being non-dualistic mean not having my own opinions? That doesn't seem realistic at all. If we have a brain we have opinions and someone who has lived as long as I have has rather strong opinions based on sixty years of living on this planet.  The answer I gleaned was this: It's not about whether or not you have opinions, it's about how you hold your opinions.  Do we hold our opinions as the only way to believe? Do we feel everyone is wrong if they disagree with us? Do we feel compelled to share our opinions because they are so "right" and others need to know how right we are? Do we feel justified by our opinions and thus, like the Pharisee in yesterday's Gospel, we are saved by them? Is it possible to hold our opinions too tightly? Deep and ponderous questions we can ask ourselves. Being non-dualistic means allowing that there are other opinions and people feel just as passionately about their opinions as we do. We do not have all the answers and neither does anyone else.  We are trying to live our lives as faithful, loving, compassionate people. As we muddle through this difficult time, let's all pray for each other, and our country, these next couple of weeks and beyond. Love, heidi

With patience and love...

"I urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another through love..."
Ephesians 4:1-2

So, I was on retreat all last week with absolutely no news, phone, or connection to the world to interrupt my bliss.  I thought I'd be curious as to what was going on but I settled into ignorance very well.  The world could certainly do without me for a few days! The problem with that is that, upon returning and hearing all that is happening around me, it had a cumulative effect--a sort of piling on. "You weren't part of this last week so we are doubling down on you this week!" It hit me hard. It certainly helps to know that, instead of watching us from a distance, God is right in our midst, suffering with us...Fr. Richard Rohr explained that in his meditation for today. That helps, but so does this advice from St. Paul. We can get along with each other by bearing with one another in patience with love.  We can disagree and DO disagree, but the bottom line is that we are all God's children and loved enormously by God. This difficult time, too, will pass and (somehow!) all will be well (Julian of Norwich). So, let's go forth this autumn Friday, in humility (we don't have all the answers!), gentle and patient with each other.  We are all loved mightily by a God who knows our sufferings, and, in fact, suffers with us.  Love, heidi

Entrusted with more?

"Much will be required of the person entrusted with much, and still more will be demanded of the person entrusted with more,"
Luke 12:48

I sure can see how I've been entrusted with much! I grew up well-loved with every advantage of education and experience. I'm grateful everyday for the love of my parents, family and friends and for all I have been able to do and see in my life. So what am I to do, now that I see myself firmly in the "people entrusted with much" column?  I see it as such a responsibility to give back, but, as obvious as that is, I still struggle with it. I remember that first retreat at Marymount when I was praying that I could change my life all around and have a spiritual vocation. It was such a grand ambition, seemingly so far out of reach, and yet I felt so drawn to that.  And I remember the answer coming just as clear as a bell. Heidi-dear, what I'd really like is if you would just do your life better now, where you are right now. Any vocation is a spiritual vocation if you just do it with love and for God. Huh? What is being asked of me, as a person given so much, is to do what I do with love and for God.  I am to love those I serve in my work, love those I encounter each day and do it all for the glory of God, who gave everything to me in the first place. (See, this is why I go on retreat! I get clear answers to murky questions!)  Abundantly Gifting God, please help me to give back to you today by doing what I do, better, with more love and for your glory! Love, heidi

A magnificent distraction...

As I was sitting down to do my readings and morning prayer, I had the most incredible distraction ever! Daughter Jeni Rose is in Barcelona and was texting me as she explored her neighborhood. She happened onto the Cathedral, which is a few blocks from her little flat.  She went inside and sent me pictures of it with her little commentary of how beautiful and amazing it all is. An organ was playing and a soloist practicing. She was awed by the holiness of it. And, to me, THAT was my prayer time right there. No, I didn't quite get to the readings, but traveling through the Cathedral at Barcelona with Jeni Rose was a magnificent prayer in itself.  So, thank you, Gracious God for the gift of distraction! And the gift of seeing the Cathedral through the eyes and iPhone of Jeni Rose...Love, heidi

Take care...

"Take care to guard against all greed, for though one may be rich, one's life does not consist of possessions."
Luke 12:15

This is a drumbeat I've tried to march to for quite a while, with varying degrees of success.  I first learned about voluntary simplicity many years ago and the idea of living more as a minimalist intrigued me right away. I got rid of a ton of stuff immediately. But now I can see that living with less is only part of the call of Jesus.  Jesus' own lifestyle and his preferential concern for the poor and marginalized is the more important second part of this equation, I believe. It doesn't matter if I have just thirty-three things in my closet if my lifestyle doesn't show generosity to the poor. (Although the 333 Project has been fascinating!) The real message is if I am living with less, I can share more with others.  That seems to be the whole ball of wax for me this autumn Monday. Jesus, you know how I struggle with stuff and my need for security keeps my grip tight around my resources. Please help me to live with less so I can help others.  As Fr. Richard Rohr says so wisely, "Live simply so others may simply live." Amen! Love, heidi